A Season of Silence

Don't know why really, but I have been in a season of cyber-silence as far as blogging goes. I have heard from more experienced bloggers than myself that we all go through these times. Times when we don't feel much is worth putting on the blog. Or that we just need to be silent for a while. It has been over a month since my last post. Many things have happened since then, and I have had many good ideas about writing on the blog. I just couldn't bring myself to write.
That is ok though. It resembles life. We all go through seasons in life. Sometimes we go through "energetic" seasons where it seems like we are being more productive and useful than we ever have been. Sometimes we go through sad seasons, where life just seems to be colored with darker things in life. This is the winter of the soul. And sometimes we go through silent seasons. I guess thats where I have been. Not sure why.
I will try to be less silent. But, I don't know that I will, for I don't know if this season is over yet.
My personal season reminds me of the season of advent we are in. It must have seemed to many in Israel that God was silent for all those years. Sure, you had a few prophets preaching for God, but in a span of that much time, many probably lost hope of hearing from God in any meaningful way. And then there was the baby Jesus. He sure knows how to break the silence.
Merry Christmas to all of you.

Karsakov's Disease

I was reading the book, "The Man who thought his wife was a hat", written by Oliver Sacks, the same person who wrote "Awakenings", and I came across an interesting neurological condition that seems to illustrate the postmodern paradigm we live in. It is called Karsakov's Syndrome, where a person has no memory of who they are, or in other words, has lost their personal story. I am not an expert in neurological diseases (I can't even spell "neurological"), but when I read this I was struck with the seemingly obvious comparison with our present postmodern position (say that three times fast).
I spend a good bit of time outside of my church. Whether it be in hospitals, coffee shops, or other places, the one thing I am noticing is that people are hungry for a story. Rick Warren calls it a purpose; having a purpose for life. That is part of it, but it is more wholistic than just having a purpose. A purpose is something that is part of a story, but a story is the essence of meaning, where everything is born, and from which everything is sustained.
People with Karsakov's syndrome have the dreadful tendency to forget who they are and what they are doing. They will lose their whole personal story, and from scratch, have to make a new one up. You see, it is impossible to live without some sort of personal narrative. This is why they create one, for they couldn't live without some sort of identity; an identity that comes from a story.
This is the picture of many in our postmodern time. There is a hunger for a narrative that explains life, that gives it meaning. Many search for it in many different places, and in many different ways. yet, when they are dissapointed, they quickly forget the story they have taken on and put on something else. Christianity is just one of the stories offered to our Karsakov society. Yet, the story of Christ is the story of the world' s true meaning. It is the story that allows us to find who we are, and what this world we live in is all about.
Maybe the role of the church is not to "reach the lost", but share the story. Story...huh...sounds like "good news".

Sheep and the Goats

I have been preaching the lectionary lately. That is not normal for my faith tradition. Most pastors in my denomination don't even know what the lectionary is. I have come to love it.
The last three weeks the passages I have preached from are from Matthew 25. This weeks passage is the story of Jesus explaining what it will be like when he returns to this earth. The passage starts out with Jesus saying that he will seperate the sheep from the goats (the unfaithful from the faithful). I have heard and read this story many times. Although I have never preached on it specifically, I have heard it taught or preached from. It seems like each time I heard it preached from the emphasis of the speaker was placed wanting to be a "sheep" that was "in" rather than a "goat" that was out. I don't believe I've ever heard anyone follow the passage and Jesus' statement to see how Jesus differintiates between the sheep and the goats. Jesus actually tells those listening that he will be able to tell who are his followers because they fed the hungry, gave water to the thirsty, was hospitable to the stranger, clothed the naked, cared for the sick, and visited those in jail.
Is this a list of defining Christian characteristics according to the Christ himself? I know, I know, there are those of you out there that are getting nervous that I am saying that these things are what saves you...these acts of work. Well I am not, however, I am saying that Jesus seems to be saying here that he saves, but those that have truly been redeemed by him, will do these things. What does this say about me? What does this say about my faith community? What does this say about the church universal?
I don't want to be a goat, I want to be a good following sheep.

A Late Halloween Picture. There are more on the Pics pages, for those interested.

Barthian Wisdom

Saw this quote from Karl Barth, father of "Neo-Orthodoxy". Thought it was interesting

"Theology is a peculiarly beautiful discipline. Indeed, we can confidently say that it is the most beautiful of all disciplines. To find academic study distasteful is the mark of the Philistine. It is an extreme form of Philistinism to find, or to be able to find, theology distasteful. The theologian who labors without joy is not a theologian at all. Sulky faces, morose thoughts and boring ways of speaking are intolerable in this field."
-- Karl Barth

What do you think?

Hear the Voice of God so Tender

Read this today in the Daily Office. Thought it was beautiful.

Hear the voice of God, so tender,
gathering us in righteousness,
Giving, as our sure defender,
steadfast love and faithfulness.
Bless God's holy name together,
as the Spirit brings new life.
Giving, as our sure defender,
steadfast love and faithfulness.

God is healing and forgiving
creatures who are sore distressed,
Opening doors to hopeful living,
as, by love, we're daily blessed.
Bless God's holy name together,
as the Spirit brings new life.
Opening doors to hopeful living,
as, by love, we're daily blessed.

Listening to the Spirit's guiding,
breath beyond the written code,
we, in covenant abiding,
seek to write our letters bold.
Bless God's holy name together,
as the Spirit brings new life.
We, in covenant abiding,
seek to write our letters bold.

Shed the old wineskins of warfare
for the fresh new wines of peace,
knowing God sustains our welfare
with a love that will not cease.
Bless God's holy name together,
as the Spirit brings new life.
Knowing God sustains our welfare
with a love that will not cease.

Words: Lavon Bayler (20th C)
Music: Raquel (8.7.8.7.D.), Skinner Chávez-Melo (20thC)
Sequence: Cathouse Pandemonium, Ltd

How do you know you grew up in the 80's?

You know you grew up in the 80's when . . .

You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off."

You know that another name for a keyboard is a "Synthesizer".

You can sing the McDonald's Big Mac, Filet-o-fish, quarter pounder, and French fry song.

You know who Mr. T is. You also know who Fat Albert is. And who was the boy in the pink mask?

You ever wore fluorescent, neon clothing.

You could breakdance, or wish you could.

You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.

You believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power!"

Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away.

You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.

You wanted to be on Star Search.

You remember the garbage pail kids, and owned some.

You knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout."

You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.

You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon.

You remember and/or owned any of the Care Bear Glass collection from Pizza Hut or the Muppets glasses from McDonalds.

You knew who Ben Stein was before you could win his money -- "Bueller?"

You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins, ET, Dukes of Hazzard, Knight Rider, Strawberry Shortcake or A-Team lunch box.

You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.

You wore your Izod shirt with the collar up.

You had Wonder Woman or Superman underoos.

You had to come in the house when the street lights came on.

You owned, or knew somebody with a Commodore 64.

You hated Scrappy Doo.

You recorded songs off the radio with your boom box.

You have ever said, "Gag me with a spoon."

You remember the first time you went into a video store to rent a movie.

You still cannot go in to the water because of that movie, Jaws.

You remember life before minivans and SUVs.

Ministering for Results

I read something on Will Willimon's blog that created a pin prick of thought that soon became a flood. As a pastor, much like many other pastors, I love to see results in the ministry I am placed within. Whether it be a new family attending, or a new small group starting, I am jazzed by growth and results. On the other hand, when someone leaves the church, or there is a lack of visual results I am ready to throw my hands up. What if I am ministering for the wrong things? Results.

I wonder if ministry in this culture has been affected by this culture. "The bigger the better", the "flashier the finer", etc. Every three months I have to fill out a report to my denomination's district telling about results. What if I wrote this time, "I am not in it for these results"? What would they say. What is discipleship is something that doesn't produce quick results, but results that last a lifetime?

These are some of my discombobulated (is that a word?) thoughts about ministry and results.

Prayer

Read this poem by George Herbert on Ben Witherington's blog .

Prayer I


Prayer the Church's banquet, angel's age,
God's breath in man returning to his birth,
The soul in paraphrase, the heart in pilgrimage,
The Christian plummet sounding heav'n and earth;
Engine against the Almighty, sinner's tower,
Reversed thunder, Christ's side-piercing spear,
The six-days' world transposing in an hour,
A kind of tune, which all things hear and fear;
Softness and peace, and joy and love, and bliss,
Exalted manna, gladness of the best,
Heaven in ordinary, man well dressed,
The milky way, the bird of Paradise,
Church-bells beyond the stars heard,the soul's blood
The land of spices; something understood."

George Herbert

The Conflict of Community

Community is hard. It sucks at times quite frankly. To be in a community you have to risk yourself, offer your ideas, your heart, and at times it gets stomped. We humans let each other down, we trample on each other's feelings, selfishly at times looking out for ourselves first. I have done it, so have you. We are hard to live with, talk to, and to love. Yet, we are called to do it. To be a community. Not a group of Christians who are loosely connected by a certain hour of music and preachign on Sunday A.M., rather, a group that actually "shares life together".

I don't know if I failed kindergarten, I don't think I did. In fact I can remember Mrs. Crabtree saying that I was a good kid. Ate too much of that yummy paste. But I "shared" well. What happen to me since then? I have gotten so selfish at times. I don't like to share my time, my money, my ideas, my dreams, my fears. All of that is MINE, not yours, and if I give to you, you will mess it up. But, what is that you say? I can't really know you unless I give myself to you? And you can't really know me until you give yourself to me? Well that sucks, because I know at some point you are going to let me down. As will I to you. But maybe the let down isn't what I should be avoiding. Maybe the letdown is the redemption point. Maybe what I should be avoiding is never being letdown or letting down.

All I know is that community is hard. But, with that said, I am dedicated to it. I want to be "known" by others, and I want to truly "know" them. I can't handle what is in my head and heart by myself. I need others. Letdowns and all.

Canticle 19 The Song of the Redeemed

O ruler of the universe, Lord God,
great deeds are they that you have done, *
surpassing human understanding.
Your ways are ways of righteousness and truth, *

O King of all the ages
Who can fail to do you homage, Lord
and sing the praises of your Name
for you only are the Holy One.

All nations will draw near and fall down before you
because your just and holy works have been revealed.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit
as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen

Love of Self

This week I preached on the passage from Matthew, and Paul's quoting of it in Romans, where Jesus said that we should love others as ourselves. I didn't do a good job of it, but as is usually the case, I see many things I should have said that I didn't say. Like for example:

- Because Jesus said that we are to love others as we love ourselves, we are to take from that it is ok to love ourselves, and not only ok, but what we are supposed to do. Loving ourselves is not, however loving ourselves and ourselves alone is. It is when the self love is coupled with the love for others that we are truly loving as we should. There is also that old adage, "you can't expect to love anyone else if you don't love yourself". It is possible that many times we do "love others as we love ourselves" and yet we are still not doing what we should be. For we have such a low view of ourselves.

I know it is a selfish, self-absorbed, "me first", world that we live in. But we can't allow for the pendulum to swing to the other unhealthy end; self loathing. We have value, for we were created in the image of God. That should drive us to love ourselves. We get bogged down by the sin in our lives; an ever present reminder of our imperfection, when we should remind ourselves that sin isn't natural. That's right, sin isn't natural. Of course from the fall we have a sin nature, but it is originally foriegn to us. What is natural is the image of God. Sin is the alien.

I know...rambling....but I couldn't resist.

The Sacrament of Care for the Sick

I have just recently started a CPE (clinical pastoral education) unit at the VA hospital in Asheville. It is basically a class that gives us the practical experience of clinical pastoral care, or care for people in the hospital or clinic. I have class on Wednesdays, and then on Mondays, for 6 hours, I am the chaplain for the hospital. I make my rounds, meeting new patients, following up with others, and get to pray and minister to the sick and dying.

For some, this might sound really hard. I do not deny that, for it is hard at times. It is hard to feel the pain of a family losing a loved one, or of a patient who is critically ill. However, even in the difficulty, it is truly a blessing.

In my church tradition we have basically two sacraments, baptism and the eucharist. I am not sure why only two. John Wesley himself (and I am a Wesleyan), said that the care for the needy was a sacrament, and that through connection with the poor we recieved grace. Jesus said, "whatever you do for the least of these you do for me". It is evident that we meet Jesus in the care for the poor. But what about the sick? Jesus said that we also meet him in care for the sick. In Matthew 25 Jesus tells us this.

If this is true. If just like meeting him in the elements of the eucharist, we also meet him in the care for the needy, than why do we as Christians neglect this sacrament? I think of Mother Teresa. I remember the familiar story of dignataries coming to see her in Calcutta, and immediatley she took them to the sick and poor. She said, "I wanted to bring you to Jesus".

Lord, help us care for the sick and the dying, for it is in caring for them that we meet you.

Word Verification

I had to add word verification to my comments section due to comment spam. Sorry for the extra step to comment. Can't be avoided I guess.

Plotting along...

Have you ever felt like you are just "plotting along"? I have heard this statement many times, and quite frankly I am not sure what it means. But I think it means something about going through a period in life that seems like everything is just getting done, and not much more. I am within this period. Just plotting along.

I haven't felt much like blogging. I don't know why. I am the type of person that closes off when I get stressed, or sad, or mad. Rather than show it outwardly, I withdraw. I guess that goes for blogging as well. Don't really know what it's all about, but its me. There are times when I don't want to talk to people, and I don't want them to talk to me. Am I weird? I don't think so.

I wish I could get into the reason for my stresses. I think it would be therapuetic. However, because of some of the crowd that might read this, I can't. I do ask you for your prayers though. I need them. There will be resolution some time in the future. Until then, keep plotting along.

Perspective

I have a friend who was in the Navy. He told me of his experiences in the 80's when he was a part of an armed conflict in the Carribbean. He told me of bombs going off, and friends losing their lives. He told me also of what it was like to come home after that tour. He said when he returned his perspective of life had changed. Everyday activities and stresses just seemed to mean so little to him. His wife had a hard time with him, because he didnt see the need in completing simple small tasks. He saw something as huge as loss of life, and war, and when he returned to the normal life, it didn't seem to be that important.

I in no way compare myself to my friend. I have never experienced anything such as these. However, I believe many of us are feeling some of the same feelings, although on a smaller scale. We have watched the images that are coming from down south; the destruction, the loss of life, and the hundreds of thousands that are suffering, and it puts things in a different perspective. The little daily things I worried about everday don't seem so important anymore. Even things that have to get done, I find myself wanting to leave behind for something more meaningful, like sheltering the homeless.

I preached a sermon from Romans 12:9-13 this Sunday. I have to be honest though, the whole time in preparing for and preaching that sermon, I wondered if it really made any difference. Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah. That is what I felt like I was saying. That is what I feel like we the church are saying. We talk and talk and talk and talk. There are times like this that make me want to shut up and not say another word. And instead of speaking, typing, or making some noise, I want to be doing. I know, talking is important, and we can encourage others to action with our words. But I feel useless right now in the light of what is needed.

Lord, help us to see what each of us can do to not be "useless", but be used where you are working.

-Ben.

Take part in helping with Katrina Relief

I encourage all my fellow bloggers to participate and use their influence to encourage people to participate in helping with the relief effort in AL, LA, and MS. Many of you are pastors, and christian leaders. It is your job to spur your people to come to the aid of those suffering. No matter where you are geographically, you can help. I put a few buttons on the bottom right part of this blog to give you connections about how to help. Lets join together and do what we can...what Jesus would have us do.

What is Really Needed.

I knew this was coming. As soon as I heard that Katrina was going to probably hit New Orleans I could already begin to predict some of the horrible comments that would be made by Christians about it. You know, the comments like, "Well, New Orleans is full of a lot of bad stuff, God just wanted to get their attention and punish them." This statement is akin to Jerry Falwell's unbelievable quote about 9/11 being because of the homosexuals in NYC.

Why do we do this? I say "we", because unfortunately when christians standup and make stupid, insensitive, and judgmental statments like this, they are not only representing themselves, they are misrepresenting the cause of Christ and all who call themselves Christian. It is our charge, I believe, to help correct Christians thinkings on issues like this. It doesn't matter what natural disaster or other catastrophe it is, there have been Christians who use it to say God was trying to punish someone for something. People said the tsunami was a result of the people in southeast asia being Islamic. It makes me sick.

First, these acts are not from God, for he is not the author of evil and pain, rather, they are the result of a world that we live in that is not what it was supposed to be. This world was cursed by our sin, and because of that, it is "groaning to return to its original state". Things like hurricanes, tornadoes, and tsunamis are not God's rod of correction, rather, they are a result of our world being under the cusre of sin and death.

Second, there were too many people who are living in relationship with God that were affected by Katrina, and the other disasters, to say that God was punishing people for their sin. Too many children and innocent bystanders were involved.

Third, it is just not how God works. I know, this might sound arrogant to say that I know how God works. I am not saying that I understand his thoughts and his ways, for I don't, I accept the mystery of him. However, He has revealed himself and part of his character to us through his word and through his Son Jesus Christ. If Jesus is the ultimate revelation of God, what about Jesus and who he is would tell us that God would do something like this? I challenge each of us to read the gospels and see for ourselves what attributes God chose to reveal to us through Jesus, and how they fit with this question. We shouldn't say that God sent a hurricane to New Orleans to punish the city for its sins because it is contrary to what we know of God and his character. Jesus went to the sinners and rather than punishing them, he welcomed them, ate with them, and spoke to them. He stood by the prostitute while the Jewish men had stones to stone her, not defending her in the sense that he was explaining away her sins, but accepting her and helping others to realize their own sins and to no judge.

It totally alludes me how Christians, (especially Christian Leaders), can claim to be a follower of Jesus of Nazareth and make statements like these. THIS IS NOT WHAT IS NEEDED! What is really needed is for us to not use our mouths to condemn, for we ourselves are sinners, but to use our hands to reach out and to comfort the hurting, house the homeless, and feed the hungry. We need to help rebuild the city of New Orleans, not stand over the destruction and say "I told you so". Christ is not in that.

I spent about an hour this morning looking at the videos and the pictures of the devastation in Lousiana, Mississippi, and Alabama. It is unbelievable. Thousands and thousands of people are homeless. I am at a loss for words.

Some pics of our recent camping trip are up on the Pics page...enjoy.

A Few Days in the Woods

My wife and I just got done packing the car for a trip to the Smoky Mnt. National Park. We are going to tent camp for a few days. This will be the first time we have tried tent camping with our son Cole. He is only 8 months old. We'll see how it goes.

I am going to take along with me, Thomas Merton's "The Sign of Jonas". I have been wanting to read more of it, but never have had the time. Merton and the woods, sounds like a good fit.

I have been having some thoughts for the last few weeks about a series of posts I want to write. I haven't finished my thoughts on catechism, but I will come back to that. This new series is on the church and its attempts to be relevant to the culture it is in. To give away my thoughts before I go deeper; I believe that God desires for us first to be authentic, and in authenticity, true relevance comes out. More later.

Off to the woods....

The Absent Pastor

In his book, "The Living Reminder", Henri Nouwen talks of the role of the minister in being used to sustain those in his/her care. In this conversation he makes a point that we have forgotten that it is not only important for a pastor to be present at times, but also absent. As ministers, we must practice purposeful absence from people; an absence that is a presence with God. He tells this story:

" My spiritual director at the abbey of the Genesee spent one day a week in a small hermitage on the property of the abbey. I remeber that his absence had a comforting effect on me. I missed his presence and still I felt grateful that he spent a whole day with God alone. I felt supported and strengthened by the knowledge that God was indeed his only concern, that he brought all the concerns of the people he counseled into his intimate relationship with God, and that while he was absent he was, in fact, closer to me than ever."

I wonder why it is that we pastors don't get this. I believe it is our desire to feel needed, indispensible, and useful to people. We must be at every meeting, at everyone's beckoned call. I know that I feel insecure when I hear that someone is sick, or in need, and I haven't been to see them. My feelings are not a desire to be there for them, but "what are people going to think if I don't go see them?", or "will I be seen as needed if I don't step up here?".

I am beginning to learn that the most important thing I can do for my faith community is to make sure I have times of absence from them and presence with God. I have a long way to go in living this out in my life.

Brother Roger killed

Taize's founder stabbed to death
09:27 AEST Wed Aug 17 2005

Brother Roger, one of the 2Oth century's leading ecumenical figures, was stabbed to death by a woman during a service at the Taize community he founded in eastern France, police said.

TO READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLE

Photo Album

To those that are interested, I added a Photo Blog page to this blog. It is to the right, under Photo Album. This will mainly be used for my parents and Tif's parents to see our son Cole. These grandparents have an addiction, and I am their supplier.

Catechism and Church Membership in the Emerging Paradigm

I am presently beginning to prepare for a junior high catechism class beginning in September. Catechism will be something new to this faith community. As a matter of fact, there has been no formal endorsement of any formal catechism in our denomination until recently. I know, I know, this sounds like we are lite on discipleship...well, to my dismay, we have been. There is no excuse for it really. I believe it comes from a misunderstanding of what it means to be a Christian and a part of the church. If all it means to be a Christian is to get a ticket to the gold plated afterlife than there is no need to grow in our understanding of following Christ. Also, if conversion is just a sentence or two that we pray, and not a process, than why would you need to involve yourself in a 6 month period of community learning to accept Jesus Christ and his radical view for your life?

So, anyways, because I have been emersed in this thinking; and because I have been thinking about the future of the emerging church; and because I have been becoming more and more convinced that catechism should not be just for junior highers, but for all ages; I am going to make a suggestion to myself and other emergent folk, that catechism should be embraced as the norm for inviting new members into our churches in this postmodern age.

I don't have time right now to further my reasons, but I will post a series of posts to lay my thinking out. This might be hard to accept for evangelical thinkers, for catechism as the vehicle for all church membership has only gotten lip service, and in reality, has been ignored in many places. So...tell me your initial thoughts...and I will return.

Age and Death.

I have been a lazy blogger the last few days. Ministering to a Parish creates busy times in life, but it is a good business. I have been able to be with a family during the death of one of their members. I know this sounds funny, but It is a pleasure for me to be there during those times. I know that death is painful. However, as a pastor, it is during those times that I might get a chance to show Christ's love most effectively. I grieve with them. I pray with them. I comfort them. It is a pleasure to be there.

It has gotten me thinking about the reality of death. The culture we live in does everything to escape this reality. We are a botox, extreme makeover, fountain of youth type of culture. We might not realize this because we are so immersed in our western mindset, but not all cultures treat aging and death the same way. For example, there are many African cultures that see aging as something to be desired. The oldest members of their society are those most envied and respected. Is this a big change from our culture? On the other hand, we do everything we can to make it look as if we are still in our twenties.

I am not sure where I am going with this, but I wonder where the gospel comes in to transform our cultural misconceptions.

Love as a Commodity or a Magnet?

I read this interview in the newest Leadership magazine. It is an interview of Don Miller, authoro of "Blue Like Jazz". I highly recommend this book to anyone interested.
This is a part of the interview that I can't get out of my head. So tell me what you think.

I - "So, (Don), you've said that the church uses love as a commodity. What does that mean?"

D - "We sometimes take a Darwinian approach with love - if we are gainst somebody's ideas, we starve them out. I fwe disagree with somebody's political ideas, or sexual identity, we just don't pay them. We refuse to "condone the behavior" by offering any love. This approach has created a Christian culture that is completely unaware what the greater culture thinks of us. We don't interact with people who don't validate our ideas. There is nothing revolutionary here. This mindset is hardly a breath of fresh air to a world that uses the exact kinds of techniques. "

I - "So what's the alternative?"

D - "The opposite is Biblical Love, which loves even enemies, loves unconditionally, and loves liberally. Loving selectively is worldly; giving it freely is miraculous."

I - "If love isn't a commodity, then what is it?"

D - "I think of love like a magnent. When people see it given in the name of God, they're drawn to it. If I withold love, then people believe I have met a God that makes me a hateful and vicious person. And they're repelled..."

So what do you think? Is Love a commodity or a magnent?

The example of the Fathers

I found this in the introduction (page 1) of Rowan Greer's "Broken Lights and Mended Lives: Theology and Common Life in the Early Church"

Tell me what you think:

"(In studying the Fathers of the church) what has increasingly impressed itself on me is that a constant dialogue was maintained between theology and the life of the church. Even those who elaborated a technical theology were also preachers in the Church , and their aim was to articulate and to shape the experience of ordinary Christians. In general terms, this dialogue seems to me one that has been lost in the Church and that very much needs to be restored. In the acadamy the seperate disciplines of history, biblical studies, theology, and liturgy have tended to make theology not only a school discipline but one discipline among others. In the parish church what I have found is a broad loss of theological awareness and a tendency to focus upon the moral demands of Christianity rather than upon the promises of the Gospel. What seems to me to have been a unity in the early Church has become fragmented in our own time. The reading and study of Scripture, the liturgy, preaching, and the arts have tended to go seperate ways. Theology and life have been divided from one another. "

Jesus the Leader

In seminary we were required to take a group of classes that were called "servant" classes. For example, "Servant as Preacher", "Servant as Counselor", and "Servant as Leader". All of these classes were good, and most of them met my expectations, except for the "servant as leader" class.

Coming into it, having thought about the title, I was trying to hold in my head the two concepts mentioned there; servant hood and leadership. I was expecting I guess an explanation of how these two concepts come together; how they form a pastor into being a servant leader.
Unfortunately, the majority of what I learned from this class was the basic leadership principles that I believe are being taught in any leadership class, in any university, across this country. It would have been true that I could have left that class feeling as much, or maybe more, prepared to lead a business than a church, and I wondered if I was wrong in feeling this way.

Many of our texts were written by successful business men and women, who through their experience, learned what it meant to lead individuals. And, many of their principles were helpful. However, I never felt comfortable with using corporate America models of leadership to train leaders of faith communities. And I don't know why? I know that there is a business side to a church; i.e. finances, a type of marketing, and so forth, but the church is not a business or a corporation, but a faith community; a family of believers. Should we lead a family the same way we would lead a pharmaceutical company?

In evangelical America and the land of the mega-church, the CEO pastor is the leader selling all the leadership books, holding all the conferences, and spreading the "management magic" to other pastors. Well, I am not comfortable with it. I do not question the intent or the heart of these churches or their pastors. I don't question that they are making an impact for the kingdom of God. Yet, I do question the type of leadership being proposed, whether implicitly or not.

I wonder what kind of leader John Chrysostom was. I wonder if he would have made a good CEO of a major company. I wonder what type of leader St. Ignatius was. Would he have searched the likes of Tom Peters and Zig Ziglar for principles to build his leadership? I think he would have done something different. He would have delved into the leadership of someone else. Jesus.

I have decided in writing these ramblings, that I need to re-read the gospels, and take note what a true "servant leader" is.

Evangelicalism, Enviromentalism, and Eschatology

Wow! Now that is a title. If that doesn't suck you in then nothing will.

We have been going through the Book of Romans in our church. I preach out of the passage on Sunday Mornings, and then our small groups meet and discuss the passage in community, on Sunday nights. I have been pleased with the communal trek through Paul's gospel. We have been led by the Spirit, and he continues to further us in our discipleship.

The passage I am preaching from Sunday, is Romans 8:18-21, which talks of God's plan to not only redeem us, but all of creation. And I find that as I study this passage and others, that we are undoubtedly tied to the redemption of the earth. What I mean is that we are connected, not only to God through Jesus, but to the earth he created for us to dwell on. Yet we don't believe it.

In the church tradition I grew up in, much of the focus of the participants was heaven. The favorite songs to sing were about heaven. The favorite sermons that everyone wanted a copy of were about heaven. And it was an unspoken requirement of every elementary Sunday School teacher that they had to teach on heaven once a month. Heaven was one of, if not the, central topic of the faith.

Of course, this is not all bad. I do believe what Paul said that to be "absent from the body is to be present with Christ". So we must live our lives with our tunics tucked into our belts and our walking sticks ready for Christs return. But what will it look like when he does return? Are we going to float off with angel's wings to a place filled with golden houses, harps, and cream cheese? Or, is God's initial intent his final intent?

It is amazing the simalarities between the Garden of Eden in Genesis 1-2, and John the Revelator's vision of the new Earth in Rev. 21-22. I believe it is clear in reading the redemption story of the Bible, that we will eternally dwell where he first intended us to dwell; here on a redeemed earth. For he created us to be stewards of this earth, and it is our inheritance.

Right before vv.18-21, Paul talks about our positions as co-heirs with Christ. We were created to be stewards of what God had created. We are deeply connected with the earth we live on, and all of its creatures. We are a part of creation, yet we are co-heirs over what God has created for us. Yet, creation itself groans, as if it is pregnant, waiting for the redemption promise to be born out.

N.T. Wright drew this conclusion for our present challenge; "The fact that God's people will inherit the newly liberated creation (someday) ought to energize a proper concern for the created order (now)."

I know, now you are just waiting to see a link to PETA, or Greenpeace. Well, that is not what I am leading too. I am just beginning to believe that we as Christians need to take a look at how we treat the earth and why. Do we believe enviromental issues are useless, because Jesus is returning and we are all going to heaven? If you do believe that our eternal destination will be in a cloud city, than there is no wonder you have no regard for this earth. Why should you. But, if you believe that God's original intent is his final intent, and he made this earth for us, and us for this earth (I am sounding very native American by the way, which is not a bad thing); and you believe that Jesus's life death and resurrection were the culmination and cosmic breakthrough of his kingdom; and you believe that when Jesus prayed "thy kingdom come...on earth as it is in heaven"; and you believe that he wasn't lying when he preached "the kingdom of God is here"; and you believe that the church is the present glimpse of an eschatological reality; and you believe this sentence is way too long; than believe with me the need for us too take the lead on environmental issues. There...I said it.

The Irreplaceable Resource

Time. I don't have much of it. I waste entirely too much of what I have, and yet I continue to pray for more. I am continually fighting against it. Yet, it is what keeps things going in my life. What would it be like to be outside of time? I wonder about what Paul meant when he said "to be absent from the body is to be present with Christ". Does that mean we take a step outside of the time space continuum? Are we able to see time as an object, like I am looking at the box of kleenexes on my desk right now? What would it feel like to be outside of time? We can't imagine it, because we are so wrapped up in it. It directs us, drives us. It tells us when we are supposed to leave the house, eat lunch, come home. It tells us what we are supposed to do and when. I think I need a break from time. Is that what Jesus was doing when he stepped away from the crowds? Taking a break from time? I don't know, but I have to stop typing. I am out of time.

Prayer from Thomas Merton

I saw this prayer on my friends blog, Monastic Mumblings, a friar's journey and thought it was awesome. So, I shamelessly copied it to post it on my blog. Good stuff.

Prayer by Br.Thomas Merton
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart form that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. -- Thoughts in Solitude

Mystery (Part three)

Ok, I know...this is the third post on mystery. Well, nothing like running with a winner. I only continue because maybe I am learning myself. I learn best through writing, interacting, and thinking outside my "noggin". So, I keep forcing you to read my thoughts. Wait...I didn't make you come here, but I am glad you did.

John made a good comment to the first post on the subject of mystery and the faith, reminding us that when mystery is held as the focus, it can become detrimental to our faith. I agree wholeheartedly. Yet, we are all living in a context where mystery has not only not been the focus, it has been forgotten. Coming from the enlightenment, the modern age focused on the ability to "know", making faith a scientific experiment.

For example...throughout the nineteenth and twentieth centuries we see the training of ministers/priests/clergy as primarily one of academics. I don't have any problem with academics, but why is it the most important, and primarily the sole makeup of clergy training? In contrast, in the first few centuries to become a clergy member meant you would live with and learn under another clergy, or in a community of clergy. You would "experience" the ministry and it would be the main vehicle for which you came to "know" God's call in your life. Why the shift? What happened? I believe the enlightenment, and the raising of the human intellect had a profound effect.

In the first few centuries there was no underlying belief that the most important thing was head knowledge, for I believe they understood that our head knowledge was limited. They understood the mystery of the faith. That one might come closer to feeling the care of God while caring for the needy, rather than studying a book about his care.

This is why the Eucharist is becoming so important to me. I believe that there is something I learn/receive from God in the Eucharist that I can not explain with my brain. I am submitting myself to an act that makes no "logical" sense because I am humbly admitting that I can't understand God, he understands me. And through this action of recognized limitations, I come to know him better.

Am I making any sense here? Or am I way off?

I am stuck on the Mystery...

I am stuck on the mystery of the faith. Not systematic theology, or doctrine, or dogma, but the mystery. What I don't know, and what we will never know.

It could very easily be thought now that I am a deconstructionist; that I take all formal doctrines of the church, and in good postmodern style, deconstruct them so that there is nothing to "know" for sure,(which is a question in and of itself, "what does it mean to "know" something?") and all we are left with is uncertainty. But this is not true. I believe there are things that we can "know" with certainty. However, I also understand our inability to "know" other things. And maybe I am beginning to realize that our inability to "know" is larger than our ability to "know". This is where mystery comes in. Yet, we are not certain about mystery, because it is so "mysterious". And we like to know stuff.

I am picturing the people of Israel at the bottom of the mountain. Moses has been gone for some time now, and there they are, in the wilderness, wondering and wandering. Is it any surprise they asked Aaron to give them something to "know" for certain? Isn't that what they were really asking. I wonder if we would have been any different? We would have asked for Aaron to please give us a sermon on the tenants of faith that we are to follow, which would have been followed by a formal committee to edit this doctrine, as well as add to it, and then it would have been put into some sort of list of membership requirements so as to be able to "know" what it meant to be a part of the group, and a follower of God. It wouldn't have been golden, but it still would have been an idle. But we would have felt more secure, for we had something to "know" for certain; something to hold on to; something void of mystery.

But where is the faith when it is all explained? Where is the humility when we have it all figured out? Where is the dependence on God when we colored his picture in our theology books?

There I go again, sounding like a deconstructionist. I am not. As I write this, I have a shelf full of theology books behind me. I am a pastor of a church with membership requirements. And, I went to seminary to "know" as much stuff as I can. I am not against learning and knowing. I am just beginning to celebrate what I will never know. The Mystery of an Amazing and Unexplainable God.

I have been thinking about the mystery of the faith lately. As most of our churches are still living in a hangover from the enlightenment, we are still enamored with what we can "explain", "categorize", or "systematize". Yet we don't embrace mystery. Why is this? Why do we feel uncomfortable when we don't know why? I think we need to celebrate mystery more. What did Paul say, "We see now through a glass faintly"?

Rearranging

I decided to pick a new Blog template. Blogger only gives you so many to choose from, so I wasn't terribly pleased with my choice, but it is better than the others I guess. I switched not because I didn't like the other, but this one is easier to add links to other blogs and websites. And sometimes you just need change.

I am one of those people who am always looking for the "new", "better", and "rearranged". I am fascinated by those that are out on the edge, flirting with radical. Sometimes this is to my own detriment for everything "edgy" and "new" is not good. Lately, God is showing me the blessing of the historic. Christianity is historic. Like a good Wesleyan, I know the Wesleyan quadrilateral, or the four foundations for our Christian faith, and one of them is tradition. We stand on the shoulders of those that came before us, and their lessons teach us what it means to be a follower of Jesus.
Unfortunately, many of us have a mistaken view of time. We believe that as time "progresses", everything else "progresses" or gets better. Of course our technology has increase, as well as our economies, but this for the most part is a mistake. King Solomon said, "there is nothing new under the sun", and yet many of us believe that we are going through a time when everything is "fresh" and "new" and there is nothing the past can teach us. Of course, this is fictional, and I am beginning to reconnect with the historic. Don't know where I am going with all of this, just letting the brain guide the keys until they have reached their destination. End of post.

this is my sister Amanda and her husband Brian. check out their blogs by clicking on their names

my son...isn't he cute.  

The Image Behind the Cover

This is the introduction to my sermon for Sunday on Romans 8:1-4. It is a work in progress but I felt for some reason I needed to post this. This not the whole sermon, so there is no resolution. I guess you will have to show up and here the rest to know the resolution. :)

I often wonder what it would have been like after taking a bite of that fruit. Standing there naked, without clothes, and suddenly your heart is flooded with things that are new feelings to you. First shame hits you. It might be the shame you are feeling from the sudden realization that you had allowed yourself to be tricked. You knew what God had said, to not eat from the tree, but yet there you are standing with a mouth full of fruit, juice dripping down the sides of your mouth and you are beginning to be overcome with the grief that comes from realizing something beautiful is dying.
The bible says that Adam and Eve’s eyes were opened. What were they opened to? Even though God had not yet spelled out the curse of sin that would be the result of their actions, I wonder if they knew deep down the horrible changes that would be made due to their sin. They immediately recognized that they were naked, a fact that had no reason to bother them before, but now, insecurity swelled within them. Yes they were created in God’s image but now the presence of sin began to twist, deform, and pervert their view of themselves, so much so that they sought to cover themselves with leaves.
I wonder what they were truly covering. Were they covering their bodies because they didn’t like to see themselves naked, or they didn’t want anyone else to see them naked? Were they covering their actions, hoping to hide the fact that they were sinful people who disobeyed God’s will for them? I find it interesting that God hadn’t already found coverings for them, but instead he had allowed and apparently desired for them to be naked. I believe he did this because he saw what he had created was good and was in his image. But now, with the presence of sin, disobedience, humanity begins to see themselves as in need of covering. This is the beginning of condemnation, for in the actions of Adam and Eve, they brought upon themselves the condemning reality of disobedience. And because of this they took cover.
We know what this is like, for ever since we humans have been taking cover. When we see ourselves we see reason to hide, or cover who we truly are. We know better than most the intricacies and depths of our hearts. We see the selfishness that fuels the motor of our motives, working for ourselves and no one else. We see the thoughts that run through our heads, whether they be lustful, dishonest, or hateful, and in the face of these we feel the need to cover them. We know what it means to take cover, for we know what it means to feel condemned by our own sin.

Weights, Cocoons, and struggles.

I just started working out today. I married a couple in our church and rather than paying me money he offered Tif and I a lifetime membership to the health club that he owns. It was very generous of him and we took him up on it. Of course this means that I had to use it. I have horrible will power when it comes to working out. I think because of the "work" in the word "workout". It is alot of work. You are in pain most of the time, and yet it is good for you. You do bicep curls and by the 4th one your arm feels like it is on fire, yet it is good for you. You do the stair master and ask yourself "how quick can I get off of this thing without the people around me thinking I am a wimp?" And yet, it too is good for you. I hope I start to become that one type of person, you know, that actually means it when they say, "working out is the best part of my day, if I don't do it, I feel horrible". I respect those people. I am not one of them.

I was watching a show last night, (on the one channel we get with rabbit ears) called "lost". It is about a plane that crashes and strands a group of people on an island in the middle of nowhere. This episode featured a character that was a drug addict and was detoxing. His friend had his drugs and would not give them to him unless he asked him three times. He was trying to build this guys character by making it attainable, but hard to say no. He used an illustration of a moth in a cocoon to encourage this guy. He said, "see this cocoon, it is a moth's cocoon. It is about to hatch, you can see the little hole at the top." He said, "I could take my knife and help this moth out by cutting a bigger hole so that he could get our right now. But you know what would happen? He would be too weak to survive or fly as he should. You see, the turmoil and struggle that the moth goes through in getting through the tough cocoon is what makes him strong. On the other side of the cocoon he is what he was intended to be."

I guess struggles are like working out and cocoons, they are good for us. That doesn't make me like them anymore. I wonder if the moth is continually cussing the cocoon while he is trying to get out? Or I wonder if he has thoughts of giving up, and not working on the hole today? Jesus' brother James in the first chapter of his letter said that we should rejoice in our sufferings. I guess James knew about working out and cocoons too.

The 10 Commandments and life.

I am sitting in my office, the rain is pouring down outside my windows. I am sleepy. I always get sleepy this time of day. I think it is because I don't exercise and my body is out of shape. Or, it could all the junk I eat. Anyways, the rain, combined with Amos Lee's serenades flowing from my stereo, are making me drowsy. I will snap out of it.

I have been waist deep in the 10 Commandments today. In our Wednesday night bible studies, called Solomon's Porch, we are going through a class called "Introduction to the Old Testament"(unfortunately named by the way; it should be called the Hebrew Bible). I love teaching. I get a rush from it. It definitely fits within my gifting.

I stop now not to talk about the historical or theological makeup of the 10 commandments, but of our recent public debate over their place in the public courthouses of our country. I am not your normal conservative evangelical; I am not up in arms about the statues of these commandments not being allowed to be in the courthouses. What good does a statue do? I have no problem with it being taken out, and as a matter of fact, I think it might be a good thing.

I know, I know, you think I am crazy. Here I am a pastor, and I am saying that the 10 commandments shouldn't be in the courthouse. Well, let me explain. First, I think we are getting the cart before the horse. We as Christians have fought tooth and nail to keep these granite morality stones in place, when if we would be half as passionate about living out the divine morality shown within the 10C we would not be worried about whether the statues were in the courthouses and public places. I ask you, what is more transformative? A statue in a public place for all to see and read the 10C, or, a group of people dedicated to living out the purpose of the 10C and its author in the world?

Also, why do we expect to hold those that don't know Jesus to the 10C ? In placing the statues in these public places, we are in a sense stating that this is what we as a country are all about. Is this true? Of course not. Commandment no. 1 "Do not worship any other gods besides me". This nation was built on the freedom of religion, meaning that no one can be persecuted for their religious observances. This is the reason for the separation of church and state, (which I am in favor of by the way), to protect religious freedom. A climate of religious freedom is what makes this country special, and we need it. For if one religion, including Christianity, were in power, our government would be corrupt, intolerant, and cruel to others. Don't believe me? Check into history. Every time the church had a major role in governing or government, we had such events as "the crusades", or "the Spanish inquisition". We need to allow people to freely choose God. That is what he did, he gave us free will, and the context of freedom to freely choose him, or not. Without that, there is no love. We should not be worried about legislating worship of God, but truly worshipping God with our lives and pointing others to him, and they will freely choose him.

I am pro 10C. However, if we were more focused on living these out in this country we would have a larger impact.

I know this is going to be controversial, but at least I am not sleepy anymore.

The ONE Campaign

The G8 summitt was a success. Thanks to all who joined with the ONE campaign to give a unified voice for ending poverty in Africa. I have posted a note from Bono, lead singer of U2, and coordinator for the ONE Campaign, on the success of the G8 summitt.


BONO, GELDOF REACTION TO G8 AFRICA COMMUNIQUE
Reaction from Bono, lead singer of U2 and co-founder of DATA
(Debt AIDS Trade Africa):
"A mountain has been climbed only to reveal high peaks north of us. But for this moment, let's stop and look back at just how far we've come. The world around us has changed. What does $50 billion mean to the poorest of the poor, $25 billion of which is going to Africa? As examples, it means the financing is in place to halve deaths from malaria by 2010. Six hundred thousand people will be alive to remember this G8 in Gleneagles who would have lost their lives to a mosquito bite. Three thousand Africans -- mostly children -- die every day from malaria. Every country who delivers a credible plan to put their children in school will have the money to do so. If the words are followed through, 9 million people across the globe will have access to lifesaving AIDS drugs, which brings us to the most important lesson learnt over the past weeks. The world spoke, and the politicians listened. Now, if the world keeps an eye out, they will keep their promises. It is down to the hundreds of thousands -- indeed millions -- who have assembled on this issue to make sure they don't just sign the cheque, but that they cash it. If an Irish rock star can quote Churchill, this is
not the end of extreme poverty, but it is the beginning of the end."
On the US:
"We always want more on the numbers but there's no questioning the man's commitment to Africa. His money on malaria has been matched leaving this President in the enviable position of leading the charge against the world's most wanted killer diseases--HIV and malaria. I wish he would have matched the European challenge on overall assistance. He has a great idea for every country with a credible plan to put African children in school but by today's numbers, the Europeans are mostly paying for it."

Self Evaluation

We had a board meeting last night, and for me it was tough. In our denomination a church is run essentially by a board of lay people, elected by their fellow church members, that meet once a month. As pastor, I chair this committee, but I don't have much say over the decisions. Yes, of course, I do have the ability to give my opinion as the pastor, but other than that, when it comes to a vote, I am out of it. We have a good board. They are people that are passionate about their church, and they are not scared to make suggestions, notice problems, and take action.

For the last few months our board has recognized the lack of something in our church, and it is evident. Our tithing is at an all time low. We are lacking in volunteers to do the ministry. And there is a general low morale. As a pastor, when these things are brought up, I immediately take responsibility. For one, it has been mentioned in the meetings that this church had been pumped up for three years (before I came), and now we have nothing to be excited for. I try not to take things too personal, but that caught me square. What if that is right? What if morale and excitement comes back to me? I think it does; which sends me into self evaluation mode.

Evaluating yourself stinks. It stinks because you usually don't like what you see when you begin to evaluate yourself. Of course, we all do it on some level all the time, for if we didn't we would be a mess. But from time to time there comes a need for a pause, and a deep look into your performance, skills, and leadership qualities. You have to ask the questions that you don't want to hear the answers to. Have I been doing my job to the best of my abilities? Have I put all my effort in to the tasks of my job? And for a pastor, (an extremely unigue vocation by the way), there is a whole set of different questions. Have I been a good spiritual leader to this group of people? Have I prayed regularly for the church and for the people? Have I visited, and cared for the people? Has my leadership helped our hindered the church and its vision? Am I the leader for this community of faith?

These are tough questions. But they have to be asked. My tendency is to just keep going, because I don't want the discomfort of answering them. But if I am going to grow to be the pastor I need to be, and if this church is going to be the church it needs to be, we need self evaluation.

God, help me to not get in the way of your work in my life and in the life of this church. I pray that you would help me to lean on you and your spirit as I ask tough questions and seek honest answers. Help Mt. Moriah to pray for their future as well. And help us to follow your perfect will in all that we do. Amen.

monday, monday

It is monday morning and my day off. My Mondays are special because I get to spend the day with my son Cole. He is very cool, and growing like a weed. He is about 7 months old, and is learning new stuff every day.
I am feeling kind of weird lately, ever since the bombings in London. I know that these bombings were not here, but it is a reminder of our own vulnerability. Yesterday, as I was shaking hands at the front door of the churhc after service, one of the church members told me an amazing story related to the bombings. His daughter is in school at Oxford and was to take a bus into the city that morning, but for some reason the bus's schedule got messed up and was late and they missed it. God's hand is evident in the world.
He also made the comment, that we just don't know what it is like to live in a place that suffers bombings so frequently. He was referring to London in the 70's and 80's with all of the IRA bombings, but he is right, we don't know what it is like.
We don't understand violence like they do in Sierra Leone, or Rwanda. We don't understand poverty like they do in Haiti. We don't understand persecution of Christians like they do in China and Egypt. Sometimes I think we are blessed, but other times I think we are ignorant. What if we understood it better, would we do more with the blessings of resources we have to help in these different areas?
Well, my son is getting restless in his stroller, better go.

God, help me and the community of believers I am a part of to realize the responsibility we have to care for the hurting, reach out to the outcasts, and love the unloveable. Help us to see how we are selfish with our blessings, and how we can be used to bless others.

the human condition

I am preaching a message on sin tomorrow. I don't know about other ministers, but I don't like to preach about sin. As a matter of fact, I don't like the subject altogether. But the reality is, we can't get away from it. There have many in our world who just choose to ignore it, believing that if they close their eyes to sin it will go away. They are the ones that are usually surprised by its pain, wishing then they had their eyes open. Then there are those who like to say it doesn't exist all together. Your OK, I'm Ok, no one does anything wrong, for if you do something that is wrong for me, it doesn't mean it is wrong, it just means that it is wrong for me. Well, I am quite amazed to believe that anyone can still hold to this idea, coming out of a century that gave us 2 world wars, and the evils of Hitler and Stalin. There is such a thing as wrong, and 9/11 reminded us of this again. Now we just have to see in our life where we are wrong.
Then there are those that never see wrong in themselves, but always in others. I feel as a nation we have a problem with this. If you listen to the American Conservative Radio Waves, (no particular host in mind), you will never hear the mistakes of this nation, only that we are the "greatest nation on earth". The reality is, we have been a part of many wrong decsions, and have made many disasterous mistakes.
Don't know where I am going with this, just rambling I guess. The good news, which I am preaching tomorrow, is that there is a remedy for sin in our personal life. ANd a bunch of personal lives together make a community which can transform the world. Thats God's plan anyways.

Old Navy has a new group of "young" models. Their Best yet I think.... 

War and the Kingdom of God

Ok I have been a bad blogger lately. I admit it, and that is the the first step to recovery.
On behalf of all of my blog readers (the two of you), I am sorry, and I will promise to do better.
Pheew, I feel better now that is off my shoulders.

Live 8 was just the other day. I didn't get to see any of it. We don't have cable anymore, so I missed it. But, I did hear U2 and Paul McCartney sing "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" on Rhapsody. AWESOME! I hear that the concerts were cool as well. I wish I could have seen the lead singer of the Verve play with Coldplay, that would have been cool.

Anywhoo.
Not long ago I wrote a post called, "I don't know stuff" or something like that. Within that post I mentioned I am not sure if war is ever the right answer. Since then I have had a few friends and readers of my BLOG want me to talk more about what I mean, or at least what I am thinking. Donald Miller states in his book "Searching for God Knows What", that if you were to take a timeline of all of history, and place a red dot on every century that a major war occured somewhere on earth, you would not be able to find a spot where there wasn't a dot. War is something that sadly enough has been prevelant for many of years.
And even more sad is that most of those red dots were justified by its participants as being divinely ordained. From the crusades, to spanish inquisition, from the civil war to Operation Freedom, we like to have God on our side when we choose to fight. I wonder though, how many times God actually ordained a war.

I know there will be people who answer this question by pointing us back to the Old Testament. I know that God told the people of Israel to go to war at times, and that he told them to totally anihilate the Canaanites. (Women, children, and all...which always kind of bothered me to tell you the truth). I can hear you now, "SEE, God isn't against war, he ordains it at times." Well, before you go any further, let me say a few things. First, those stories all come from a time period when Israel was a theocracy. That means that they were a state run by God. From the time of the nation of Israel's inception to the time his spirit left the Temple in Ezekiel, they were a nation run by God. (Although they didn't accept that many times). When God told them to go and destroy the people of Canaan and take the land, they were actually ordained to do so. I will never understand the brutality in light of God's goodness, but I trust God and believe that he ordained their actions. As a side, I do believe that the Canaanite destruciton points towards the final judgement of those who reject God. Anyways, they were acting out of direct orders from God, for they were his nation.

There are no more theocracies, and there hasn't been since the people of Israel's disobedience caused God's spirit to leave their presence. Let me say that again. There are no God ordained nations. I know, that is hard for us "American-Conservative-Evangelicals" to handle, for we have bumper stickers that say, "God Bless America", and we hold to "One nation Under God." Many of us believe that we are "God's Nation", bringing freedom and the "American way to the world" in the name of God.

Not long ago I recieved a flyer in the mail from my denomination advertising district camp meeting. As a promotion they are having a singing group open the camp meeting schedule. This singing group added their bio to the information and in it had this statement about what they saw their purpose as. "We are group of who love God, and love our country and travel all around the world, not afraid to let others know." I don't know why, but that bothers me. Why are we travelling all around the world to tell others about America? Why do we so closely relate our relationship with God with being an American. Did you know that for a middle easterner, the words American and Christian are the same? We should be doing things to help people see that you can be citizen of any nation and be a follower of Jesus. That to be a follower of Jesus superseded any national citizenship.

God is no respector of nations, and through Jesus Christ, his revelation and redemption spread from being through one nation (Israel), to being offered to peoples of all nations. God's kingdom has no boundaries and no geographical limitations, and is made up not of "nations under God" but of people who have placed faith in Jesus of Nazareth. We are citizens first of God's kingdom which transcends borders.

I am getting a little of subject here, but it is important to know that our nation is not ordained by God, and run by God. We are no more special in his eyes than any other nation on earth. So we can't hold to the fact that the wars we decide to invent or participate in are God's plan. That is not a valid argument.

With that said comes the question, "Are there any wars that are right, and that we should support?" I don't know. You have our brothers and sisters in the Anabaptist movement that will say no. That war is never in God's will for this world being redeemed by Christ through the church. I still am wrestling with this, and it is very attractive to me. It fits my understanding of God's love and grace.

Then you will have those who like Martin Luther, seperate the present existence into two seperate spheres. The Sphere of the world and the Sphere of the Kingdom of God. Luther went so far to say that these spheres don't connect and should be kept seperate and he ordained wars that were totally unjust. I have come to see that this is mindset of many of our evangelical christians today, whether they want to believe it or not. They might in their morning devotions read the sermon on the mount, hearing Jesus talk about love of enemies, and at lunch time discuss the need for more troops in Iraq. Seperation is there.

There are also those who consider the idea of Just war. This theory proposes that war is just and needed at times, but only when the effects will be worse if war is not entered into, than if it is. This is the theory held to be by propopents of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, which I have a hard time with. I don't believe that the killing of innocent women and children at anytime is just. However, there is a case for WWII being just. When looking at what Hitler and the third reich did, it is hard for me to say that we didn't need to intervene. So, I have a reluctant connection with this theory.

In the end I believe I want to be a pacifist, but don't know if it is possible. If someone was hurting my wife or child, I would defend them and hurt back. Most would do the same. So is true pacifism atainable. I don't know. I do know that I hate war. And the present war we are in is a good example of a war that is not just.

This didn't clear anything up, I know, but maybe it spurred a conversation among some of you.
I am open to your thoughts, and actually look forward to them.

This is my brother-in-laws band (he is the third from the left, in the red pants). They just won a contest as best band in Amsterdam. They will get a recording contract and a lot of free publicity. They are a Christian Reggae band and are offering their music to the world for the sake of the kingdom of God. Pretty cool, huh? Keep them in your prayers, for we don't need more Christian radio stations, we need more Christian musicians that are going to play on radio stations that reach those who don't know Christ.  

It is hard to finish your cereal when you are so tired. What is a baby to do?  

All We Know

I am reading a good book called "The Last Word and the Word After That" by Brian McLaren. I highly suggest it to all who haven't read any of his books. It is the third book in a trilogy, the first being "A New Kind of Christian", and the second, "The Story we Find Ourselves In". Pick them up and read from the first through the third.

I came across a poem that he wrote in his latest book, and I thought it would be good to post it. Sometimes art is the only way to approach theology. I mean, there are times when art (poetry, sculpting, or painting) come closer to telling the truth of a matter than any other form of communication. The poem is entitled "All We Know".

All We Know

All we know is but a spark,
Rising from the blaze of mystery,
A falling star in the dark,
Descending from a height we cannot see.
In mists that rise from woodland streams,
the way that we could fly in childhood dreams,
Truth comes in on winds that blow,
From beyond the the rim of all we know.
I have my doubts about certainty.
Its not all that its made out to be.
I trust in things I cannot see,
And reach out for the love that's reaching me,
In mists that rise from woodland streams,
The way that we could fly in childhood dreams.
Truth comes in on winds that blow,
From beyond the rim of all we know.
The secret things remain concealed,
But this good news has been revealed.
(And thats a gift): the rift is healed.
And there's a trusure hidden in this field,
In mists that rise from woodland streams,
And the way that we could fly in childhood dreams.
Truth comes in on winds that blow.
From beyond the rim of all we know.

In the belly of a paradox...

"The sign Jesus promised to the generation that did not understand Him was the "sign of Jonah the prophet" - that is, the sign of his own resurrection. The life of every monk, of every priest, of every Christian is signed wit the sign of Jonah, because we all live by the power of Christ's resurrection. But I feel that my own life is especially sealed with this great sign, which baptism and monastic profession and priestly ordination have burned into the roots of my being, because like Jonah himself I find myself traveling toward my destiny in the belly of a paradox"

-Thought this quote from Thomas Merton was a good one, for I feel the same way, that I am travelling toward my destiny in the belly of a paradox. I know this is where faith comes in. Paul said that we only see through dark glass. I know this, but at times I wish I had some Windex.

I am not Sure about Stuff...

I have come to the conclusion that I am not sure about alot of things. I am not sure where I will be in 3 years. I am not sure how God is all knowing and yet he created us with the ability to choose freely and mess things up. I am not sure why I like to daydream alot. I am not sure why my wife married me, although she says its because she loves me. I am not sure if evolution is all that wrong, or if God chose to create using a form of it. I am not sure what hair style I want. I am not sure what it means to be a good dad. I am not sure exactly the impact of preaching on people's lives. I am not sure if I agree with everything my church denomination believes in. I am not sure what it means to be poor, and what it means to be rich. I am not sure if Jesus would pastor my church like I do. I am not sure....about alot of things. But I am sure that God loves me, and that he sent his son Jesus to show me this. The rest...I will trust in him for. I guess that is what faith is.

This is my dad. He just got his own BLOG at www.lifethroughthevine.blogspot.com. Check it out. It will be in a link to the side here. It is a BLOG of daily devotions. He is going through the book of Colossians now. Connect with it, it is good.  

Dateline Last night

I am trying to make it a habit to spend just a few minutes everyday posting something to my BLOG. We will see how it goes. I know there will be days I miss. But...so what:)
I watched an interview on Dateline last night that had Brad Pitt as the interviewee. (is that a word?) He is a part of the ONE campaign I was telling you about. Bono is the founder of this effort, and I am in support of it. If you want to know more about it, go to www.one.org. You can put your name to a letter that is being sent to the president.
I have been thinking about war lately. I don't want to get too political here, for I know that politics can stir up strong emotions, but the older I get, the harder time I have supporting any war. I know the "Just War Theory", but has there ever been a war that fit its criteria? I have a hard time seeing Jesus of Nazareth stepping out in support of any the wars of recent history. I am still processing these things. Tell me what you think.

I have just recently found out about Project ONE, an effort to end severe poverty in the world by encouraging the leaders at the upcoming G8 summit to embrace 1. debt relief for poor countries 2. increased giving to these countries by the rich countries, 3. and reformed trade policies to increase economic gain in these countries. Check out www.one.org and become involved.  

Why is prayer so hard?

I am a struggling prayer. I admit that one of the hardest spiritual disciplines for me to make a strong habit is prayer. I go through phases. Sometimes I will pray everday, 20 to 30 minutes a day. But more often If I pray at all, it is a quick few minutes. Many times though I will go weeks without a steady prayer life. What is wrong with me?
I sometimes feel that I am abnormal. Theoretically this shouldn't be that hard. I have tried to write out my prayers, keep a prayer journal, and even to pray the daily office, yet time and time again I falter, forget, or just don't do it.
I remember my father saying that the things that seem to be the hardest to do, are probably going to be the most fruitful. I see Jesus in the NT praying constantly, pulling himself away, and praying. I preach and teach on prayer, and its importance for life. Yet when it actually comes to getting down on my knees and praying, I sense something struggling against me to not allow me to pray. Intelectually I am convinced of the power of prayer. Yet my experiences don't give weight to my heart to its truthfulness. No, I am not saying I don't believe in prayer, I am saying I don't want to know what prayer is, I want to experience prayer in my life. I want to be like my elderly aunt who is so intertwined with God in prayer it is as if they are communing constantly. Does this take discipline? probably. But I think it takes more than this. It has to take a divine touch of strength and focus.
Well, I am writing this having only prayed for a few minutes this morning. I wonder if I should stop writing and pray.

I have to be honest, as a relatively new blogger, I am sometimes intimidated by my own BLOG. I have been reading some other more experienced journalists and writers, and after reading them, I wonder what I have to say that is that profound. Nothing I guess.
I see them post sections of exotic poetry written by someone that most everyone else reading seems to have memorized. I see intellectual books being mentioned, must reads, drawing me to feel like I am not in the "know" yet, when I have books on my shelf that I haven't even touched. And I am struck by my own inabitity to communicate like these fellow Bloggers.
I guess it will come with time. I tell myself that if I dedicate to write something, anything, everyday, than my writing craft will sharpen, and soon people will be reading my Blogs; impressed by the breadth of my reading, and intimidated to write themselves. Maybe I don't want that. Maybe I just want to be me. An inexperienced, unimpressive Blogger. Wait, I seem to remember something...simple is better. Jesus was simple. I wonder if he would have read exotic poetry? Maybe. But I am sure his aim in reading it wouldn't be to impress others. I wonder if Jesus would have been a Blogger? Probably. He was a master communicator, telling stories and all. But he wouldn't have done it to impress people. I guess that by the end of this post, I have decided to just be me. I have no poem to add to this either.

This is my son...Cole. He is 5 months old.  

This is my first post to my own personal BLOG in over a year. I am not sure if anyone will ever read this BLOG, but I am sure it will be helpful for me anyways. My name is Ben. I am 30 years of age, and am married to Tiffany, 25. We have a son named Cole, and he is only 5 months old, new to life and loving every minute of every experience.
We live in a suberb of Asheville NC, located in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains, which we can see out our front window every day. There can't be too many prettier places on this earth, but I might be a bit partial.
My story is one of faith finding. I am a follower of Jesus of Nazareth, who embodies both divine love and purpose and true humanity, and was sent here to this earth for you and for me. Through the sacrifice of his life for humanity, we are able to truly know our Creator, and ourselves. I don't have everything figured out as of yet, but I am confident that God does.
I am a minister in a Wesleyan Church, called to lead and guide a group of fellow believers in a life of discipleship and purpose. Our community is named Mt. Moriah Wesleyan church, and we believe in worshipping God and loving others.
My hope is that this BLOG will be a place where I can post musings, thoughts, and questions. I hope you will join me by posting questions or comments.

pax,
-Ben.